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A Guide To Becoming More Sex Positive

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For so long the conversation surrounding men and intimacy has been either negative or a taboo subject that many don’t discuss in-depth. Still, sex is a natural and beautiful part of human existence and it’s time to start treating it like that! It might feel difficult to unlearn any negative ideas you have created about sex but here are 4 ways you can become more sex-positive!

Educate Yourself

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In your journey to becoming more sex-positive, it’s important to take the time to educate yourself on any sex-related questions you might have. Even though you might have taken a sex-ed class back in the day, educating yourself on sex is more layered than just memorizing various STDs. Taking the time to do your research will help you learn more about not only sex but also the concept of sexuality. This will also give you the opportunity to define your sexual values, and what matters to you.

More often than not, your association with sex and sexuality might be heavily influenced by the people around you, so use the internet to your advantage when researching. Although it can seem scary, the internet can be an extremely informative place that is also free of stigma and guilt. When researching beware of any resources that use language that is shame-based especially towards women, people of color, or the LGBTQ community. Improving your relationship with sex starts with education, so use the resources around you to help.

   Experiment With Yourself   

If you’re struggling with feeling confident in yourself or your abilities in the bedroom, then take the time to get to know your pleasure points. Exploring your body can feel awkward or uncomfortable at first but it can be extremely beneficial in helping create a positive relationship with your body and sex in general. When you experiment with your body, you are also giving yourself the chance to explore your turn-ons, turn-offs, and everything in between. A major problem people face in the bedroom is not knowing how to communicate what feels good or what they want, so, experimenting with masturbation or porn will help ease some of the anxiety and create a healthy line of communication with your partner.

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Self-exploration can mean a variety of things from experimenting with sex toys like vibrators or dildos by yourself or asking your partner to join in on the fun. If you’re nervous about including your partner then start off with something simple that will help set the mood but will get your hands on each other like a full body massage with edible massage oil. However, this is your time to get to know yourself, so don’t shy away from asking questions or experimenting with new positions or pleasures.


Don’t Kink Shame

Embracing your body and your desires is an essential part of understanding your sexuality and moving towards a more sex-positive mindset. If you find yourself getting turned on by things outside of the norm, don’t feel discouraged. Fetishes or kinks are a natural part of sexual fluidity, and should not be treated as a dirty secret. In fact, your fetishes probably are normal, but since it’s uncommon to talk about them they can be hard to embrace.

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For example, some more widely known fetishes include; feet, anal sex, specific roleplay situations, bondage, and impact play. These fetishes may have less of a stigma around them or maybe more comfortable to explore because they are often depicted in mainstream films or shows. While, on the other hand, there are lesser-known fetishes that may not be included in films or as widely talked about. The important thing is to ensure that you’re with a partner you feel comfortable with and will consensually explore kinks with you. Alternatively, if you personally don’t have any unusual kinks but your partner may, be accepting of that and don’t judge them for it.

Stay Positive

Circus of BooksSex can be complex, and if you have always struggled with your sexuality or sex life then it can feel as though you will never have a positive relationship with sex. However, with patience and experimentation, you will. One major pillar you might face is your relationship with your body image. If you have a negative relationship with your body that will manifest itself in your sex life. When you’re spending the majority of your time worrying about your weight or how your body looks, then you are not allowing yourself to live in the moment and enjoy yourself. 


Practicing self-love doesn’t stop at masturbation, it should also include your health, and facing any insecurities you might be dealing with. For men struggling with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, talk to your doctor about medications such as Sildenafil for ED to help tackle your bedroom-related issues. Your health is also an important aspect of your sex life, and if you struggle with anxiety or stress then trying meditation or tantra yoga can help ease some of those anxious thoughts and recenter you.


There is no exact way to be sex-positive, however, taking the time to understand your sexuality will help you feel more aware and gain more confidence in your abilities! 

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